What is a column from a dad of triplets doing on a site titled “Ordinary Parent?” Well, it is because in a lot of ways I’m no different than any other parent. I’m aware that the mere idea of triplets scares a lot of people, even parents who raised four or even five kids of their own. People let us know that every time we leave the house. Or as someone recently tweeted to me: “Just the thought of triplets is terrifying to me.” But believe it or not, being a triplet dad isn’t the nightmare you might expect. Well, it’s not the nightmare you probably imagine it to be, at any rate.
Sometimes the Numbers Seem Stacked Against You
It’s not the fact that the odds are usually, during the best of times, 3 against 2. Consider the following numbers: Over their first eight months we changed approximately 5,500 diapers, fed 4,500 bottles, took 6,500 trips up the stairs and back down again, picked out hundreds of outfit changes and opened countless boxes of baby wipes.
Whether the task is dressing all three or getting all three in their car seats and out of the house (don’t forget a feeding or two worth of bottles, formula, diapers and potential clothing changes), the numbers just never add up in your favor when you have triplets. Only the time adds up, yet there never seems to be enough of it. And getting one child to bed just means there are two more to go. And once all three fall asleep, you cross your fingers and anything else you have available, hoping that one doesn’t cry and wake up the other two.
You Try to Prepare, But Experience Is Sometimes the Best Teacher
Some of this you can prepare for ahead of time. My wife and I read up on triplets and multiples. We knew to expect the “I’d kill myself” comments when we went out (yes, we do get them). We stocked up on as much as we could and tried to make our home as triplet-ready as you can. But there are some things you just can’t prepare for. Trying to schedule three consecutive doctor’s appointments around two working parents’ schedules is especially fun. You can read about that in a book, you can get advice from friends, but until you’ve done that yourself, there is just no way to “know” how to do it.
Is Having Triplets That Much Different Than a Singleton?
I admit that in the quiet times, few though they are, I imagine how much more simple it must be to only have one. But would it really be that much different? This is something my wife and I talked about a lot before the triplets arrived. Having your first child turns life as a couple upside down; we just had three at once and it put our life in a spin cycle. But it isn’t as if having a singleton would have allowed us to leave the child at home and go out at night. Sure, it’s a little harder to find a babysitter or even leave the house; but we still have to do those things, just like every other parent.
Triplets? How Do You Do It? … You Find a Way
Lots of people ask me, “How do you do it?” My answer: You find a way. You can’t return one or two of the triplets any more than you can return a singleton. These are our first – and last – kids, so I’ll never know how raising triplets compares to raising a singleton. Maybe that is a good thing; we don’t know any better. To us, parenting triplets is parenting.
I don’t mean to underplay the job of a triplet dad. Is it hard? Sure. But I’m serious: You find a way. I’m always amused when the “how do you do it” question comes from parents with four or five kids. I have three kids; I know what it is like. I want to ask them how they did it. The answer is that they did it just like we do: you adjust your life and find a way. Being a dad is hard whether it is one or three or more. Sometimes I feel like our life is held together with chewing gum and shoestrings, but you find a way.
Oh, The Stories You Will Tell
And of course there are funny times as well. A few weeks back we were at our local Target store. We were buying, I believe, every barrel of formula, tub of food and package of diapers they stocked when a middle-aged woman approached us to talk about our babies. This happens pretty frequently. It is hard to miss our triple-decker stroller rumbling down an aisle. Anyway, the woman talks to us for about five minutes or so when she mentions some relation of hers has triplets and says the worst part is getting through a store, because so many people stop to talk to you. Honestly?
Benefits of Having Triplets
And in a lot of ways we benefit. We have three kids who will learn – and hopefully enjoy – playing together. Hopefully they will learn to share, or at least not go ballistic when their favorite toy is snatched away. They will all be at the same stage at the same time. No need to repurchase toys or isolate some toys from some of the kids. We won’t need to re-baby-proof our home until the grandkids arrive. Liam, Rand and Sadie will probably have the same teachers and go to the same school, giving us plenty of opportunities for feedback, insight into homework requirements and perspectives that lots of parents just can’t get. And imagine – one-stop drop-offs, no running three kids who are late to various elementary, middle and high schools.
How do you do it? You just find a way.
Bryan Redding is a father of triplets and a blogger.